The eustachian tube links the ear system to the nasal system and is there to keep pressure equalised. I have a tendency to get blocked tubes in the winter which results in “tympanic distension”, i.e. the eardrup curves out or in due to pressure or slight vacuum, reducing the effectiveness considerably. It frequently hurts as well and can precipitate an ear infection.

The worst trouble with suffering hearing loss in this way is the inability to locate sounds properly- every time a phone rings in the office I have to look at mine to see if it is my phone. I also have to be careful where I sit in meetings so that I’m not constantly having to move my head where I can hear best and lip-read as well.

Fortunately, for me, it is a temporary problem and the brain soon gets used to it. Unfortunately, it can last several months and I am reminded of how bad it is by occasional temporary restoration after a yawn or swallow when my hearing is briefly very good again.

Most of the time it is a serial effect, with the right ear generally suffering the most. When it takes out both ears at the same time personal effectiveness declines dramatically.

I’ll just go & sniff some more decongestant drops from my inhaler cup….

Visit Google.com
Type in the word “Fuckwit”
Hit “I’m feeling lucky”

I admire Google’s discrimination and assessment of character….

SPOILER……

(Just in case you are trying this after H.M.Government has complained bitterly enough for the search to be pulled, it brings up the Biography of the Deputy Prime Minister)

The Blackpool Tower Circus is back for a remarkable 38 week run in 2005. It is a new show with many old favourites, particulary Mooky the clown who always stays topical.

(I’m the only clown in the village….)

There are two small downers- a large metal ball thing spoils the view for the North Balcony people and whilst said ball is used to remarkable effect for the finale (think Fairground “Wall of Death”) the water finale only consists of sinking the ring in order to partially submerge the ball pedestal, no squirty effects, fountains or waterfalls. Plenty of noise and petrol fumes though! It also took the crew (& half of the cast) a long time to get the ball in place and the young lad on top will probably end up falling off the girders he nimbly skips along at some stage in the season.

Otherwise there are a number of amazing circus acts, high wire work, what has to be the world’s longest trampoline and the daredevil Angels from USA who make the audience gasp with their death wheel antics. They were at the Yarmouth Hippodrome for the Centenary season although they aren’t acting quite so crazy this time. (The structure is two hamster wheel style circles either end of a long truss which can pivot. The Angels run around inside and outside the wheels whilst it swoops from floor to ceiling. At Yarmouth they were even jumping from wheel to wheel!) An unusual act were a pair of Jamaicans wearing rasta-style garb, one of whom appeared to have hips that could swivel 360 degrees. They also demonstrated limbo circus-style.

Mooky is also a highly skilled performer as well as a clown and he recreates a plate spinning act of the style we used to see on David Nixon shows with his own flair and humour.

There is another minor downer- the relentless plugging of souvenirs, face painting, candy floss, light-up tat etc. before the show and during the interval. Rather than pay attention to that, spot the turns selling stuff. Last year we noticed the Wardrobe Mistress also sold candy floss and worked a follow-spot.

The show is well worth the admission fee and it is worth queueing to get good seats ringside on the North. If you want to bite your nails watching the death wheel, sit in the South Balcony!

The title above is the motto of the worshipful company of plaisterers and I had the pleasure of attending the CMA conference which was held last week at Plaisterers Hall which is in the City right opposite the Museum of london. The building only dates from 1972 (and has a very modern brand new office block directly above it at one London Wall so it has probably had the “Criterion treatment” where special elements were preserved within the fabric.) but the interior feels much older

A Plaisterer is a decorative plasterer and I have had a fascination with fibrous plaster in theatres so I knew a visit there would be of particular interest. They were originally given a charter in 1501 and helped form the well known “City & Guilds” Institute. Their heraldic shield looks rather fierce with what we first took to be battle-axes but it seems they are actually trowel and hammers along with plasterers brush, essential for the art or mystery of daubers. You can see it here, click on history.

Their original charters are on display in the foyer and were fascinating, if somewhat difficult to read.

The main hall I guessed (correctly) as a reconstruction rather than being original. However what I took to be a pastiche of Louis XIV & Regency style is actually based on the works (and even some moulds) of Robert Adam who is well known for numerous reconstructions including Osterley, Syon Park and the Admiralty.

Indeed I think of Adam’s interiors the way that beautifully laid out gardens infer the touch of Capability Brown (who I had forgotten was called Lancelot).

Some tantalising photos of Plaisterer’s Hall can be found on the Web here. The main hall has three magnificent crystal chandeliers to die for and all of the rooms (apart from the rather bland Mott room) have a style of their own. The 21st century has mostly been kept at bay visually, although the plain access door onto the minstrel gallery in the main hall probably has a health & safety officer just itching to put a “fire door-keep closed” sticker on it!

Compare this:

The specific aim of Directive 97/13/EC is to ensure that Member States use fair and transparent procedures for issuing licences which allow licensees to provide telecommunications services or networks.

to this:

Licence Fees

Current network licences are charged on an annual basis according to the following algorithm:

where “n” means the number of Earth Station terminals (subject to a minimum of 50 terminals per licence) licensed in the network;

“bWn” means the Network Transmit assigned bandwidth (in MHz);

“MODn” means Modifier Value of 0.5; and

“Pn” means Transmit Peak power (in Watts) appearing at the flange of the network terminal antennas.

I showed it to an accountant who didn’t have a clue how to resolve it….

Thank you the Radio Authority, now Ofcom