I had the pleasure to visit Royal Ascot yesterday afternoon, being held this year (only) at York Racecourse. I was attending a Convergence seminar being held by Thus, one of the BT rivals along with Cable & Wireless and Energis.

The event was in a smart (but old fashioned) Hotel very close to the course, indeed we managed to walk back from the Grandstand in 10 minutes or so later on. There was a strong police presence eevrywhere and the car park had a lot of black Range Rovers with large Royal crest stickers in the window so it seems that a lot of the Queen’s entourage were staying there.

We were bussed to the Grandstand and on the way we passed the temporary heliport in a Farmers’ field. There were dozens of them, I haven’t seen so many Helicopters in one place outside of a Saigon movie.

It was chucking it down when we arrived, but once we had cleared the turnstiles I went for a quick wander to take in the ambience.

I’ve only been to the races twice before. The first time was with my Dad one Saturday when I was a teenager, we basically sneaked in at Gosforth Park late in the day, managed to work our way through the various enclosure pinch points and found ourselves next to the finishing line in the paddock for the last race.

My second time was to Galway Races, an occasion celebrated in song whenever Celts gather socially (before Danny Boy & if they are really drunk, Four Green Fields, a stirring but politically sensitive republican song about re-unification). Galway Races is quite an event but it isn’t at all pretentious. It is rather thrilling to stand right up to the fence as the horses thunder by & the crowd cheers. However, by the third race, I realised the cheering was more of a primal scream, of thousands of punters shouting “get in… you… FUCKERRRRRRRRR…” I was staying in Galway at the time so it was an easy trip on the double decker bus, although traffic could only come and go between races, as the car park was basically the field in the centre oval of the track & you drove in & out over part of the course.

York was much more of a contrast to Galway, it had the feel of places like Old Trafford & Lords, with an interesting selection of vintage pavilions along with some very shiny steel & glass ones. Also, the punters were much more smartly turned out, although you had to wear a tie to get in and if you had secured Royal Enclosure tickets, then Morning Dress & Top Hats were expected.

There were some stunning frocks on some stunning women, a wide range of hats (some particularly silly, one hostess to some Corporate pavilion appeared to be dressed as a bonfire) & quite a few tipster types who reminded me of Walker out of Dad’s Army.

The bookmakers semmed surprsingly high tech with computers to print the slips & quite a few of them had dynamic displays that changed automatically. I had a small flutter & won all but 50p back on my first race, lost on the second as my choice was on a go-slow.

At 1:55, the Queen arrived with various others in three horse drawn carriages and she travelled up the straight under a transparent umbrella, waving as she does. A jocular Brian Glover type wearing a badge labelled Jockeys and Jockey’s guests (he certainly wasn’t a jockey) made the crowd chortle by enquiring in a loud voice who the “Fit Bird in white” was in the second carriage.

I suddenly remembered, i had seen the Queen in the flesh once before, at stavanger. The Royal Yacht Britannia moored there for a day or so and she and Prince Philip visited the town, along with King Olaf of Norway. I was walking between buildings (at opposite sides of the harbour) and was fortunate to arrive just as they went walkabout. There had been a bit of fuss the week before when suddenly a number of ramshackle warehouses had been spruced up, but we were assured it was just a coincedence…

Three days to go and election leaflets two and three have dropped onto the mat.

The first is for Joe Medley, headed “Vote for Joe”. The theme is “say NO to council waste” but it seems to be about the City Council, not the Town Council. The front page is devoted to some issue about vandalism that there is some (unexplained) scheme on the cards costing £35k, when local people believe it would cost £5k with fencing. It seems the scheme is based on whims & pet schemes of the Independents but it doesn’t elaborate.

There is a brief mention of the Town Council towards the end of the front page, “The problem for the Town Council is that the same people are on the city council as well, so the Town Council cannot speak up effectively on your behalf.” I don’t quite understand what point he (or the office) is making there. Five of the six City Councillors are indeed on the Town Council but that is out of twenty four Councillors, so I don’t see how that stops the Town Council speaking up effectively on people’s behalf. There is probably a subliminal message there, it is because they aren’t Labour Party Councillors so they can’t be right…

The back has more City Council bashing, firstly on budget cuts, then on Asbestosgate. This is a long running saga about some Asbestos garages discovered on a recent clean-up that the MBIs accuse Labour of turning up at next day for a photo opportunity & a press story. The MP also gets a look in, looking at a mattress. That one didn’t make it only the shiny election leaflet…

Another leaflet, called Labour Rosette, appears to be a BNP leaflet disguised as something called the Pro Democracy league. It is just as scurrilous as those anti-BNP leaflets from the SWP, taking them on at their own game.

I was stunned today to find that someone I knew had been awarded an OBE. Terry Elliott JP, husband of Councillor Judith Elliott, is a likeable Yorkshireman, surprisingly quiet and publicity shy. (Somewhat like Dennis Thatcher was when Maggie was prime Minister).

I gave him a ring to congratulate him and he assured me that he wouldn’t be returning it or accepting it by Post, his Wife would never speak to him again if she didn’t get her chance to go to the Palace! Knowing Judith, she and Brenda will be chatting like old friends within two minutes…

Their day of good news has also had a down side, unfortunately. Our Deputy Mayor has suffered a family tragedy with the death of his Son in a road accident this morning and that has put something of a dampener on the celebrations.

I’ll save my other blogopinions I was originally going to write for another time.

The title relates to the well known film, although our postie generally only rings or knocks once if needed, not expecting anyone in. It remainds me of the comedy routine where the comedian is describing the childhood game knocky-nine-doors where you ring the doorbel then run away and hide. It is still popular today, only now it is known as ParcelForce…

Today, I spent a few hours working at home with my laptop. As I was expecting a parcel and Postie hadn’t been yet, I put a note on the door saying “Postman please ring bell” as sometimes I don’t hear door knocks.

I assumed Postie would ignore it if he didn’t have anything but anyway, eventually I heard the flap go and the characteristic sound of envelopes hitting the mat. After a few seconds of hesitation, the bell did indeed ring so I greeted him and he was looking rather sheepish as there was a “sorry you were out” card already on the mat. I had discoverd their dark little secret… if they don’t expect the addressee to be in, they often don’t actually bring the parcel!

He did advise me that it was ready for collection however, I didn’t have to wait 24 hours as written on the card. The sorting office man confirmed their pragmatic approach- if known people are rarely at home & the parcels are heavy, they will sometimes take the call & just drop the card.

I actually applaud their pragmatism, as they are using discretion based on local knowledge and if I am in, it isn’t a big deal to nip up the road, provided they are open. But, there’s the rub- they aren’t actually open at useful times to suit the customer, which in my case would be after I finish work rather than waiting until the following morning which is a diversion on the way to work. 7am-12 noon (10am on Fridays) may suit them but not me. There again, they are still to all intents and purposes a nationalised industry & monopolies never take their customers too seriously anyway…

There are four candidates for the Morley Topcliffe Ward By-Election Town Councillor vacancy.

The first candidate is chris Beverley of the BNP. I could tell he was a candidate as he turned up to observe the last Town Council meeting or two. I’m well aware that he is keen to win, although I think it is probably more for the glory of the Party rather than as the concerned Morley citizen.

The second candidate is David Hayward who is standing as an Independent. I don’t know who he is.

The third candidate is Joseph Medley for the Labour Party. I had already predicted he would be standing as he seems to be writing letters to the press at the moment.

The fourth candidate is Kath Stephenson for the Morley Borough Independents. I don’t think I know kath but I may well have met her as she is active in Morley in Bloom it seems.

So, a Labour, a BNP and two flavours of independent standing. Topcliffe Ward has a strong Labour tradition with the largest Council Estate stock in the area, although there are also large private developments as well. The five current seats are all Labour held (or at least four of them are, as a resignation led to the By-Election).

Some people have speculated that the BNP stand a good chance of winning: Chris will take votes from Labour and the non-Labour vote will be split between the independents.

With the election only nine days away, I’ve had my first bit of material through the door, the traditional lime green MBI leaflet. This lays into Labour considerably, pointing out that four Labour Councillors have resigned and a fifth was disqualified. It concentrates mostly on the Denshaws and Newlands estates rather than the other bits of the ward in Glen road, Birdland and Peel street areas, although pragmatically they are probably the right target.

There is also an interesting revelation in the leaflet that the other Independent (David Hayward) actually signed Chris Beverley’s nomination papers and is standing purely to split the vote. He isn’t listed as a Proposer and Seconder but I seem to remember five signatories are required so it may be true. If it is, it is a bit of an own goal for the BNP to have been rumbled, especially with allegations of a local Police Community Support Officer having been suspended for being in the BNP and misusing computers.

It isn’t illegal to stand as an independent for political purposes as far as I’m aware, it is actually quite a clever tactical move, but signing your opponent’s papers isn’t, unless done in irony…