I took the motor into an ATS to get the burst one replaced, which was stinking out the boot with cold burnt rubber. (Why do I think of Billy Connolly? Oh yes, his stated objections to Condoms) You will put the new one on front offside, worn one in the boot and check the torque on the wheel I changed? Yes sir, of course Sir. …By the way, the front offside is wearing down, it is still comfortably legal but you should be aware of it. OK, I’m not too bothered if it is the spare. Yes, we’ll see to that…

later, it struck me that the new tyre didn’t look particularly new. There was a good reason for that, it was because it was actually in the tyre well in the boot. Now I wonder, did they even check the torque on the front nearside or just put the hub cap back on?