The Christmas lights were switched on a couple of weeks ago and it is looking festive in Morley (when it isn’t wet and miserable, that is!) There is a Crib scene in the Town Hall ceremonial entrance, the Queen Hotel is doing its bit to speed up global warming and the cake shop window display is rather jolly. The trees outside the Town Hall look sad and unlit though (as usual).

I had my camera at work today, recording in-building cable runs. I also snapped the picture that caused me cognitive dissonance recently.

People can acquire nicknames for all sorts of quirky reasons.

At school, Gavin Atkinson became known as Nivag Nosnikta because it sounded so silly when you said his name backwards.

Peter Hepworth was Heppy, Paul Brown was PAB (pronounced Pee Ay Bee) and Michael Coleman was simply Coleman. Geoff Patterson was originally known as Paddy, but one of the girls twigged that he always knocked about with Peter & Paul so he became Mary.

Girls acquired various names as well. There was Kiki (after Kiki the Frog in Hector’s House),  Julie Bigknockers (self-explanatory) and Gobbler, after  the goings on at a party that I wasn’t invited to.

Three girls from Nottingham were known as Princess, Spray-on and Flapper. A guy with a big nose was Captain Beaky, Neil Hallett-Carpenter used to tell us ” call me Carpenter” so he was known as Hallett (Until we found out his middle name was Plumpton!)

Nigel Lord became Lord Nigel, Peter Martin became Herby after he nominated someone in writing with the  words “I, Peter Martin, herby propose…” and Dan from work became Dan, Dan the Asset Man (or “the Gimp”) from working in the secure cage.

One particularly loud fireman in Saudi became “Tannoy” and a Filipino there became Marcos because he looked like President Marcos.

I’m sure I’ll remember more…

OK, I admit it, I was going to nick parody Chip Dale’s famous live-feed thongometer idea by doing a map of Morley with something very Yorkshire-ish flashing over it. My first thoughts were a pork pie, but according to Dave Spikey, that denotes Chorley, not Morley. My next thought was what was Morley well known for? but a clapped-out shopping centre with far too many charity shops isn’t easy to represent with an instantly recognisable icon. Then it occurred to me- Chip Dale- Chip - Fish & Chips. Yorkshire is famous for Fish & Chips, the original healthy* fast food. We have the Tingley Fisheries, the Mermaid Fish Restaurant and then numerous Chippies for all tastes and pockets.

So, off I went looking for a suitable image of fish & chips- and found this poster!

However, it seemed strangely familiar, and a quick look at the website jogged my memory. It was from a Dr. Who Episode. A nice touch that they have an entire spoof site devoted to this imaginary school.

* (Healthy, if you don’t eat the chips or the batter, that is…)