I saw this guy a couple of years back, very clever and very funny. You have to get your head around Little Howard having a deep voice for a little kid though.
Before you watch it- you have to bear in mind that this is the 2007 Royal Variety Performance, held at Scouseland Theme Park in the presence of Her Royal Maj. It is also a little odd that comedians need to be introduced by a double-act but I think that is to buy time for scene changes.
This is my 1000th post. To celebrate, here is a videoblog I prepared earlier.
Meanwhile, I’m off to the Works do. Blogging will resume when my head is clear again!
I mentioned “Geogga” Johnson, the Geogga being Geography, as opposed to “Metalwork” Johnson. That brought back a few memories and some knowledge via the Interweb.
Our first class with him, he disappeared into the stock room and re-emerged with his Cape, Mortar and Cane (or was it Strap?) and read us the riot act.
After that, he was as nice as pie, although I had been chatting to my mate Les one lesson and he banged our heads together for not paying attention!
A couple of lessons in to the term, he took us onto the roof of the lower school (which had a viewing platform), pointing out the contours of the land and the beautiful Cheviot Hills to the north.
At the end of the first year, he took us on a field trip. It was very misty walking to school and I worried that our trip might have been cancelled, but it was on. The morning was spent at the Newcastle University teaching Farm and I only have three memories of that- having to wash our wellies in dip (Foot & Mouth threats), seeing the milking parlour and being charged at by a huge herd of stampeding cows which just stopped and ambled about once they got close. (We were eyeing up the stile by then!)
In the afternoon, we had the fun bit. The weather had cleared and the sun came out. Our coach dropped us off and we had a pleasant two mile ramble to a waterfall the Linhope Spout where we swam, splashed and frolicked in the water. It was freezing under the waterfall! (The teachers had brought a tent so that the girls didn’t have to show their navy blue knickers getting changed, unless they wanted to…)
I haven’t found any copyright free photos of the Spout but there are lots of images on Google & Flickr. The Northumbrian also has an article on it, I must go back one day, it isn’t too far from Alnwick.
Finding the opening brochure for my old school online has been very interesting but also a bit of a let-down; what seemed complicated and complex becomes commonplace when scaled into an schematic floorplan drawing. Some areas are revealed as what they started off as, became or should have been; I had forgotten that whilst us boys went to do woodwork & metalwork, the girls were doing housecraft (cookery & domestic science) and commerce (i.e. typing). The boys had a Cork floor in our gym, whilst the girls had a maple one in theirs. School isn’t the happiest days of your life, but they are certainly the formative ones.
The Harry Potter films have re-awakened an interest in School Houses, as per Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. My school also had a House system of sorts, but not to the extent extolled in the 1961 opening brochure;
A special feature of Kenton Secondary School is the House system, which plays a vital role in the life of the school. It is a means of making pupils feel that they belong to a recognisable group, more intimate in nature and numbers than the whole school and is also a means of promoting various out-of-school activities. The four houses hold social evenings each week for two hours, thus encouraging the comprehensive social aim, as both certain age ranges and all ability ranges mix socially during these House evenings.
It goes on to say that the four Housmasters/mistresses have what we would now call a Pastoral role in children’s development and that further building work would lead to six houserooms in total.
When I joined the school in 1969, there were four Houses, which from memory were called Kielder, Norham, Walkworth and Alnwick, all names associated with Northumbria (Castles, methinks). I was in Kielder, which had a red shield. The only real manifestation of the House system was in high standards of work- you collected stars, three of which earned you a Merit Mark. (Outstanding work could earn you a Merit mark straight off if you got 10 out of 10, but that might also earn you a bit of a kicking afterwards for being a swot!). There may well have been House Masters, but I don’t recall them, or requiring the services of one. In assembly, the ranking of the Houses was occasionally mentioned, and four coloured shields in the stairwell next to “Geogger” Johnson’s Lower School Classroom used to get re-arranged in order of superiority.
When we moved on to upper school in the third year, the Houses were never mentioned again…
The social events mentioned from 1961 above were restarted in the fourth year two evenings a week, there was ninety minutes or so of activities, culminating in a disco in the hall for the last hour. This was the start of Ian grey Dee Jay and my eventual world domination of School Christmas Parties. I arranged with one of the deputy heads (Mr Lorriman) to do the school parties in 1974 for the grand sum of £30, which was what Impulse charged per disco, a dramatic saving for the school and lots of Wonga for me to buy lighting, records & strobes. I also remember hiring a Mirror Ball rigged up in the middle of the hall, with the various Focus Lanterns focussed onto it in different colours. Mirror balls are very cheesy but a striking effect if done well. The hire Company was in Sunderland and I can vaguely remember taking this Mirror Ball on the Bus in a large straw filled box!
One other word about schooldays before I leave the subject for a while- when we were about to start school, our parents were sent a big list of what we needed, both clothing and equipment. (I can remember a frisson of unexplained sexual excitement at the sight of the words “Navy Blue Knickers” in the list). It suggested that pupils should have a Briefcase or a Haversack. I chose the former, then found that only nerdy types like Gavin Atkinson (whose Dad was a teacher, albeit a remedial one) had Briefcases so rapidly obtained a Haversack which for credibility must only be worn with one strap over the shoulder.
*Marxist Bingo- Just like ordinary bingo but when you get a card, instead of shouting House! you call out Property is theft! instead…
So, yesterday, Incapability Brown reluctantly signed the Treaty of Lisbon which amends the various previous treaties. (It is not the constitution, which would have swept away and replaced all previous ones, instead it just does most of it anyway). Reading it is a bizarre experience- it is largely incomprehensible as it refers in depth to how it fits in with the other treaties. You read it with increasing tedium, then suddenly a paragraph will make your eyes widen when the possible consequences become clear. (The Beeb has the documents for download in their treaty Q & A).
I am reminded of my days as an officer at national Level in the voluntary organisation known as Eighteen Plus during the 80s & 90s. We had a fairly scrappy set of ruling documents (the Constitution and Standing Orders) which underwent major revisions over the years. At each Annual National Conference it became apparent that the Group Delegates would happily vote for anything as long as it didn’t affect their day to day workings. A number of us were procedural gonks (myself included) who would think about what the words meant and how they could be misinterpreted, or worse still, misapplied in a non-benign way. At the end of the day, though, no-one got heart, no-one lost their livelihoods and what we decided didn’t matter when the inevitable law of unintended consequences played itself out.
With Europe, however, we give ridiculous sums of money to a bloated, corrupt beaurocracy which gives us some of it back for regional aid schemes that we wouldn’t willingly fund ourselves if we made the decisions in the first place. The protocols and declarations document of the treaty has the subject as Final Act which is ironic, as a case has been made that this will indeed be the final treaty of Nations as they can now be amended much more easily without concensus. Nations aren’t written out yet but the signs are there that they will become multiple Regions instead. (The term Nations and Regions seems to be getting banded about more & more, Seb Coe was using it on radio 4 yesterday in relation to positive outcomes of the Olympics). Sub-Regions and Sub-Sub Regions now seem to be being promoted; in Bradford there are numerous large posters appearing with all sorts of people doing all sorts of things. According to the local paper It is supposedly about Bradford Pride, but the strapline is “I am Bradford District”. and I took it to be setting the scene as a Sub-Sub Region (Bradford) in a Sub-Region (West Yorkshire) ina Region (Yorkshire & Humber, as run by Yorkshire Forward).
Anyway, the Constitution Treaty doesn’t take effect until ratified by all of the signatories. Ireland will have a Referendum regardless, we have been refused a Referendum via smoke & Mirrors and Belgium isn’t even in a position to ratify it, having been without a Government for six months.
As Thunderdragon points out, why the hell do we let the Politicians sign these documents before they are ratified? Does it say Without prejudice, or subject to contract underneath?
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