My journey to hospital was via an emergency ambulance. It arrived after about ten minutes and the crew came to have a look at me. They were paramedics, Joan and Suzie. Whilst they were sizing me up, I was sizing them up and started to get a sinking feeling. Why was that? Because I suddenly remembered a blog comment I had read six months or so ago, a about how a similar crew had needed to call a “special handling team” to get someone’s heart attack victim Dad downstairs. Their 9 stone frail Dad in a two storey house…
Fortunately, they had no problem getting me onto the stretcher, as they had a garage full of bystanders to help them. Once on the gurney, it winched up into the ambulance on some tail-lift contraption and they started treating me. At this point I noticed that I was bleeding fairly gushingly- I had punctured my skin with the bone. Gauzed up, we took the trip to the nearest A&E. I was offered Entonox (gas and air) to reduce the discomfort and Joan offered the first bit of worldly advice- never decline pain relief in hospitals, there is no reason to suffer, they have some good stuff on offer, some with high street value! She warned me that Entonox is like having six Pints but I would put it as two drank in rapid succession.
I looked round the ambulance which felt familiar, despite my not having had a trip in one for well over thirty years. That was because I am a regular at Random Acts of Reality and took Blood, sweat and Tea on holiday with me. The most prominent feature inside was a large red warning sign about how the Trust would not tolerate violence against staff. Joan told me what category I had been declared as; B(self called in), in a public place- had I fallen inside the garage then they could have taken up to two hours to respond to me (although I would have been upgraded once someone had told them I was bleeding from a puncture wound). I qualified for a “blue-light” trip to the hospital, although she said that thy didn’t call it that in West Yorkshire, it was something else (although I can’t remember what she called it now). There is an explanation of how they respond to 999 calls in this document.
I asked about a few of the more outrageous claims in Tom Reynolds’ pastiche of the London Ambulance Service- Joan confirmed that they were all too true, especially the ones about unnecessary callouts for people who didn’t need an ambulance at all. She even said that the Ambulances were now starting to become fair game for random acts of violence in certain areas, something the Fire Brigade have had to put up with for years…
Interesting story Ian. Worried about the two tiny girls, were you? I’m sure they manage quite well usually, but didn’t have to here.
I gave up on Tom Reynolds’ blog long ago, it was too depressing, much the same over and over and not particularly well written which was understandable since it was done on the fly. But I would like to read his book, however not available here yet. Supposedly sometime this Spring.
Comment by jmb — January 24, 2008 @ 3:30 am
JMB- I’m not a regular reader of TR’s blog either for similar reasons, particularly the repetition which is inevitable. The book was a well chosen cross-section of entries though. You can probably get it on eBay cheaper rather than waiting till March 1st- but the postage might cripple that.
Comment by Shades — January 24, 2008 @ 7:42 am
JMB- regarding the “two tiny girls”- They weren’t tiny, one was 5′4″ and petite, the other 5′8″ and also petite despite her height. I’m a big fat heavy lump, especially when lying on my back. (Last time I went to Rhyl the RNLI & Greenpeace dug a trench in the beach to help me swim back out to sea… {Boom Boom Tissh}
Bearing in mind that our health and safety rules insist that we take special measures to shift 19″ monitors, I had brief visions of spending another half hour waiting for a more burly team &/or lifting gear.
(
Comment by Shades — January 24, 2008 @ 7:54 am
Glad you survived it all and took the advice about pain killers. Fascinating insight into how the amb teams operate.
Comment by Welshcakes Limoncello — January 24, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
[...] Attacking fire crew when they are attending an incident appears to now be a recreational activity for some of the lowlife scum that pass for human beings in this third world country of ours. It isn’t confined to the Brigade either, Joan the Paramedic told me that it happens to Ambulances as well. [...]
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