I often see, hear or read things that strike me as slightly odd &/or amusing. I even occasionally remember them! Last week, the two blokes on the X-Pert Diabetes course told us that Away in a Manger was the same tune as The William Tell Overture. They also explained why they only drank milk- they were Mormons. They wouldn’t be coming to the final lesson this week as they had been specially chosen to clean the temple and had to wear all white. (I didn’t ask if they wore special underpants.)

Now, how matter how much I compare the tunes, I can’t get AIAM to align with TWTO, tune or chord structure. Did I mishear? I’ll check on Thursday, as the conversation was sparked off by someone saying they bought their mobile on the strength of having a particular tune in its repertoire. Now it might just be that the two blokes were talking bollocks. (Identical twins living together for 65 years has to make them a bit quirky. After all, the first four weeks, they turned up in suits, last week they had matching Manchester United tops on).

Talking of bollocks, I noticed a rack on the wall in the hospital X-Ray Suite on Friday, labelled Kings Lynn Gonad Shields. These are plastic encapsulated lead devices shaped somewhat like bikini bottoms which can be used with males or females in order to protect the testes or ovaries when the abdomen was being X-Rayed. There were three sizes on view, although it seems that there are four in the range, a very small one for babies. Why Kings Lynn? Are they particularly inbred in Norfolk, such that they can succomb more easily to X-Ray gonad damage? Or is it that background radiation is higher there so that the gonad shields are recommended wear for all north fenland dwellers? (There may be some mileage in that- Sandringham isn’t too far away and look at how the Royal Family turned out…)

I imagine the real reason is much less amusing, perhaps they were designed for a Kings Lynn hospital. I have to admit that I won’t be able to go to Kings Lynn again and not chuckle though!

It is amusing how arbitrary signage can raise a chuckle or a wry eyebrow for their arcane nature. The X-Ray suite also had a sign saying “If using lead aprons- don’t forget thyroid shields!” A Morley market cobbler has a sign explaining that half an hour means thirty minutes and not to shout at him if you come back before than and your shoes aren’t ready.

Driving into Oldham, there used to be a large sign painted on a bridge saying Welcome to Oldham- home of the Tubular Bandage. What a catchphrase! It eclipses Catherine Cookson Country somewhat.