David no longer has a savings account with the Bradford & Bingley. I’ve mentioned it before but I have a bit of a three strikes and you’re out policy with outfits that rattle my chain.
The first gripe with them was actually David’s: when we first opened the account there was some scheme where if you didn’t make any withdrawals in a yar then you got sent a Wallace & Gromit Piggy Bank. We have never made a withdrawal (until today) but we remain pigless. Strike One.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, we had a cheque to pay in but we had a road trip so we called there at opening time- except it wasn’t open. We nipped into Morley Market to buy some celery (have you noticed that supermarket celery often doesn’tt actuslly smell of celery some weeks?) but when we came back at eight minutes past nine it still wasn’t open and a queue was forming. Someone inside gestured to suggest five minutes but we didn’t want to wait). Strike two.
Karen managed to pay in OK last week, but she did go into Morley mid morning, I’d have been really worried if they had been closed then!
Meanwhile, in London, David’s Gran gave us a large whisky bottle full of coins to take back up north- and a number of money bags. There was a strong temptation to just take the contents up to ASDA and tip it in the coinstar but they do charge a significant poundage so we* decided to bag them up and take them to a bank.
Unfortunately, we bank with RBS and there isn’t a Branch in Morley, so one or other of us would have to go into one where we work at lunchtime. As the coins are heavy (£45+ worth) it would have involved several journeys, so instead we decided to pay in to the B & B, effectively giving the money to David.
Arriving at the B&B mid morning, there was a small queue and two counters open but some long and complicated transactions. Eventually we were served, but then we were hit with a silly arbitary rule- no more than five bags of coins paid in a day. WTF? Are they not a bank? Well not really, they are a bank in theory from the 2000 demutualisation but they don’t do current accounts, indeed their merchant services are handled by he Co-op Bank. Anyway, I had had enough, that was Strike three, I suggested that I simply closed the account instead and that appeared to be an acceptable outcome to the teller. As it happened, last week’s cheque hadn’t actually cleared so I drew down the account to £20 and we’ll close it off next time we are passing.
Anyway, what to do with a counter cheque and a heavy bag of bagged coins? Find somewhere else to deposit it. David suggested Lloyds Bank- because the logo has a horse in it.
We popped in and talked to the friendly young man on the reception desk. He told us about their various products but got increasingly annoyed with his computer screen. After consulting with someone more senior, we were advised that David would need to produce some form of ID (money laundering and all that) but if we were able to come back slightly later with his passport, we could open the account straight away and pay money in. (Other types of ID needed to be verified so would result in a delayed account opening).
After much fighting with the PC, he managed to book us an appointment at 12:30 and printed us out a detail confirmation. We stood and stared at the printer hopefully but nothing happened… He then told us that they had the worst IT system he had ever come across. Hmm. Strike one.
On returning home to have an early lunch, Karen enquired as to whether Lloyds had any silly rules about paying in bags of coin and it occurred to me that I hadn’t actually asked, so I rang the Branch, or rather rang the 0845 number for the branch and got through to a Scottish lady after having to navigate through a deaf IVR system. I asked her my question and she hunted through various online menus to try and answer the query. She then asked “Are you doing anything this weekend?” which was rather forward of her as whilst she had a nice voice I had no idea if we would be attracted to each other, and anyway, I’m happily married. She then suggested it might be betetr if she connected me directly to the Branch, but failed to find any details for a Lloyds Branch in Morley and did I happen to know what it’s sort code was? WTF? Strike two.
Back to the bank we trotted and were ushered into the inner sanctum. Now then David, have you brought your passport? Good. As David is only 11, we’ll need some ID from you as well, did you happen to bring any for yourself? WTF? Why didn’t you tell me that an hour ago? Strike three.
Tell you what, I’ll go home and research what accounts are available rather than this knee jerk urge to simply open one now in order to offload my sack of coins. Don’t tell anyone I’ve got £45 of mixed copper in the boot…
I bank with Nationwide and I find it very good, but I dont usually deal with people, its all online. And if I have any cheques – I post them to the Leeds branch with my account number and sort code.
Posting £45 worth of coin might be expensive though.