Many random things stick in my mind, generally because they were funny, defining or insightful at the time. (Sometimes all three.) To choose a random smattering of the former (which will mean nothing to others but sound as though there is a story there), I’ll nominate Big Bill who worked with animals, Pickaxe Pete the rescuer, Bjorn the Gambling Adviser and finally Derek Walters and his burst hot water bottle.

When it comes to insightful, I have been on many training courses over the years, some (but not all) which stick in my mind. One regular trainer was a Chap called Nigel Elsby who combined charm and hubris to great effect. If someone said his name to me, I would immediately picture him saying his Strapline when Genuflecting. (Not actually spectacles, testicles, wallet & watch, but something more like right pec, left pec, right of belly button, left of belly button). He did this for one simple reason- we would remember it and I do indeed. This was his definition of management:

Achieving results through people

Simple huh? This is Team Management of course, not Product Management, but getting things done well was getting the balance right in the three factors of team task, team performance and individual performance.

Another one that pops up when it comes to achieving personal effectiveness in anything is this diagram, which I have called the new skills circle. (There are plenty similar ones around but not obviously public domain so I knocked one up in PowerPoint. It is a bit rough, but the principle holds). I first came across this at Cranfield.

It is a simple two axis graph, with ability from left to right and awareness from bottom to top .

To make the explanation resonate with most people, I’ll choose learning to drive. Here are the four steps:

1. You are sixteen, you are looking forward to getting your provisional license and book your test. It can’t be hard- your Dad can do it and he is pretty ignorant. You really don’t appreciate your complete lack of ability yet.
2. Your first lessons- all that stress of working the controls together whilst being expected to look where you’re going as well! A bitter reality pill.
3. You get to an acceptable standard after a lot of hard work. You are a fair driver now but need to concentrate totally on the task of driving well.
4. You have hundreds of thousands of miles experience now and driving is second nature to you. Your control is smooth, your awareness is high and you can sing along to the radio or carry out conversations without discomfort. You are almost driving on auto-pilot where you become immediately aware of anything out of the ordinary in order to give your full attention to it.
5. There isn’t a stage five, until you want to expand your horizons. Go and do a defensive driving course or an IAM assessment. Suddenly you are back at stage one again where you think they won’t find anything to complain about!

Life is like this, numerous overlapping skills at different points of the cycle. Sometimes it is a small circle, sometimes an irregularly shaped polygon as you struggle with a challenge.

If the curve though this diagram is a clock face, where do you rate your blogging?

I put myself at 2pm so I’m reasonably competent but very conscious of having to think about it. But blogging is like peeling an onion; things you didn’t appreciate keep showing up underneath the next layer.

(Title Credit- Shrek the Ogre used the Onion analogy before me.)

I mentioned “Geogga” Johnson, the Geogga being Geography, as opposed to “Metalwork” Johnson. That brought back a few memories and some knowledge via the Interweb.

Our first class with him, he disappeared into the stock room and re-emerged with his Cape, Mortar and Cane (or was it Strap?) and read us the riot act.

After that, he was as nice as pie, although I had been chatting to my mate Les one lesson and he banged our heads together for not paying attention!

A couple of lessons in to the term, he took us onto the roof of the lower school (which had a viewing platform), pointing out the contours of the land and the beautiful Cheviot Hills to the north.

At the end of the first year, he took us on a field trip. It was very misty walking to school and I worried that our trip might have been cancelled, but it was on. The morning was spent at the Newcastle University teaching Farm and I only have three memories of that- having to wash our wellies in dip (Foot & Mouth threats), seeing the milking parlour and being charged at by a huge herd of stampeding cows which just stopped and ambled about once they got close. (We were eyeing up the stile by then!)

In the afternoon, we had the fun bit. The weather had cleared and the sun came out. Our coach dropped us off and we had a pleasant two mile ramble to a waterfall the Linhope Spout where we swam, splashed and frolicked in the water. It was freezing under the waterfall! (The teachers had brought a tent so that the girls didn’t have to show their navy blue knickers getting changed, unless they wanted to…)

I haven’t found any copyright free photos of the Spout but there are lots of images on Google & Flickr. The Northumbrian also has an article on it, I must go back one day, it isn’t too far from Alnwick.

I’m off to see Show of Hands tonight. Sadly, Steve Knightley can’t be there, his son has just been diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia which is a life threatening Cancer but often curable. The Gig will still go ahead with Bhil Beer and Amanda Sykes but that is only two thirds of the Band (or 50%, depending on how much of a purist you are). I saw the pair of them earlier this year but hopefully they will do some SoH numbers.

The Band wrote to us all (via the Box Office) earlier in the week and giving us the option to get our money back. What little I know of the LongDogs though, there probably won’t be many empty  seats tonight.

In the unlikely event that SK reads this, my thoughts are with him at this difficult time and I hope the treatment  is successful.

-oOo-

This article needs a little more research to fill the gaps but I want to get the meat up on the bones. My best friend at school was a lad called Wally. Whilst something of a geek, he had the sort of amusing manner and sharp brain that put him up in the league  of Stephen Fry. If wit was shit, he had dysentry…

(BloggerWife occasionally uses this phrase about me, although her implied circumstances are where Senna Pods are required. There again, we have been married twelve years so she can read me like a book!)

 Wally went to College down Woolwich way and moved to Brighton, working for I.C.L. I went to stay with him for weekends several times and on one occasion he invited me to a party. It was being organised by the girls in the office below theirs in the City somewhere and it turned out they all worked for Women’s Realm, Women’s World and such like. (IPC Magazines?) It was being held in a house somewhere in North London, which I recall was at the end of a Tube line and practically spitting distance from the buffers.

It was a fairly normal party, but everyone seemed to be waiting for something to happen. Eventually what they were expecting happened- one of Wally’s Friends had drank too much and was in a deep drunken sleep. At this point we moved to stage two; the lippy & felt tips appeared and he was “enhanced” in various ways.

An hour or two later, stage three happened, he woke up and blearily  took himself off to the toilet, not noticing that we were following him not too discreetly. A minute or two later, there was a huge shout from within:

YOU BASTARDS!

and the party resumed…