Shades of Grey

January 4, 2009

Stills

Filed under: 4FoxAche, skools n' ospitals — Tags: — Shades @ 6:15 pm

I once went on a visit to a Distillery in Canada but that is not the topic of this Blog, even though it would have been photogenic. Instead it is a story I was told by someone whose brother had served in the Falklands War.

falkland-islanders Public domainThere are something like 3,000 Falkland Islanders and the soldiers regarded them as somewhat unsophisticated, being presumably like the Isle of Man but without the offshore banking sector. Anyway, the soldiers started to refer to the local men as Bennys, the derivation being a character from the soap opera Crossroads. Benny was characterised as being rather thick and always wearing a woolly hat. This photo from Wikipedia shows some islanders and the hat certainly fits…

Anyway, after a while, the soldiers were ordered to stop calling the locals Bennys and they duly obliged. Instead they called them Stills. Why was that? Because, the soldiers explained, they are still f***ing Bennys…

I was reminded of his after reading of the school that decided to stop calling itself a school due to the negative connotations of the word school.  (Story here).

I look forward to some other places with negative associations getting more positive new names. How about:-

Leeds bulk scheduled peoples taxi hall

Gum luxury peoples department store

Recreation centre for those with extended leisure time

Leeds non-optional halls of residence

January 1, 2009

Not for the squeamish

Filed under: Techy, skools n' ospitals — Shades @ 8:39 pm

On perusing my recent copy of Balance- the bi-monhly diabetes lifestyle magazine, I was rather surprised to read that maggots are in use again for cleaning infected wounds. (Diabetics often suffer from foot lesions, hence the relevance).

I’ll refrain from illustrating the article, but it seems that you can get special dressings that contain the larvae discreetly in meshed pouches. The larvae are sterile in both senses of the word and eat dead tissue for breakfast… It goes by the innocuous sounding brand name of BioFOAM or you can get them free range.

Yecch. Yes, I am a bit squeamish…

The baby flies are best bred Welsh ones though.

December 10, 2008

The Emperor’s new clothes

Filed under: skools n' ospitals, troughing — Shades @ 8:37 pm

My first encounter with spin was at school. One day, there was a bit of a kerfuffle near the school gates at Drayton Road and news had spread like wildfire during the day that pupils were going to go on strike. I think I was in the fifth form at the time (year 11) and we regarded strikes as something the Roslas did so we observed for a few minutes then traipsed back to our lessons when the bell rang.

That night, on Look North, we saw about fifteen seconds of someone handing out leaflets to scratty looking Kentonians whilst Mike Neville spun something about spontaneous strike action by pupils.

The following afternoon, a tight lipped Senior Management Team (Mrs. Innes, Mr. Madison, Mr. Morton) addressed the various year groups in the school hall. Mrs. Innes read out a statement which explained that during afternoon break yesterday, a car containing a camera crew and pupil X, a political agitator, pulled up outside the school gates and started filming. Pupils spilled out onto the road to see what was going on. The camera crew filmed the pupils spilling out and the leaflets being handed out for a short time, then got back in the car and sped off to another school. As Kenton was an open campus rather than gated, the cameras managed to obtain the best visual images at our school when pupils went to look.

It was certainly one version of what happened but it was far from being the truth and we all knew it. This was my first real experience of news management but over the last thirty-five years I have seen so many more in the workplace, in organisations and from politicians.

It is with increasing bemusement that I watch our Government spin black being white and throwing more good money after bad in what can only be described as blinkered deranged desperation.

I despair that our Prime Mentalist is living up to his derogatory nickname and that he is indeed, as Old Holborn suggests,  Dagenham. (Three stops past Barking).

(Sorry, but any comments previously left on this blogpost have been lost)

December 5, 2008

Testing times

Filed under: skools n' ospitals — Shades @ 10:56 pm

Tomorrow afternoon, the Grey household will breathe a sigh of relief.  Since a chance comment by Marty on a blogpost some twelve weeks ago, David has suddenly found himself getting coached professionally (by Kip McGrath Morley) and by enthusiastic amateur Karen (with the odd contribution from me).

Once we visited the Grammar school and realised that David stood a fair chance of getting a place, we looked into how we could up the ante’. We bought the example test papers and found that David was OK at Maths but had some knowledge gaps and no concept of rote learning multiplication tables. As a consequence, he mostly understood the principles but made silly mistakes. In Verbal Reasoning he was a star, consistently getting upper quartile results. The Grammar school use Maths to assess the pupil achievement and the Verbal Reasoning to identify future potential so this is a very positive.

We looked around for tutors concentrating on coaching and after a couple of blind alleys we found that the local Kip McGrath centre was doing a course. (It didn’t help that their website phone and email details were out of date!) Consequently David has spent eight weeks visiting their centre on Sunday mornings and looked forward to it as they made learning fun.

We bought a number of 11+ structured workbooks from WH Smith (including a Parents survival guide) and Karen developed a informal coaching programme around this. We were careful, however, to make sure he still had plenty of normal time for the stuff he loves doing, including making a snowman yesterday! (In case you are wondering why I wasn’t heavily involved, I have a more lassez faire approach to life  and also I tend to shout at him more than Karen when he gives silly answers because he isn’t paying attention!)

Now, at last, the day is on us. He will sit the two tests tomorrow morning, then he wants a slap up meal- at McDonalds and the weekend is his (weather permitting). He then has a very easy time of it and he will probably find his year 6 SATS a breeze in the Spring.

Meanwhile, the waiting starts. By the end of January, the school will advise us if David has met the attainment level required for entrance into the school (i.e. he has reached 11+ standards). The results are normalised for age which will actually cost him a couple of points as he has an early birthday during the academic year. 

Now if we lived in the catchment area of the school, this would almost certainly mean that he would be offered a place. However, what actually happens is that places are allocated for out of area children purely on results, so the better he does, the higher the chance of an offer. We find that out on March 1st, when we receive the school allocation details from our LEA.

It is interesting to observe the reactions of others to us putting David through all this. His own school wasn’t particularly helpful officially as Leeds is not a selective school area but informally a couple of the staff were extremely  positive indeed. The reaction of the Chair of Governors was to inform us that Morley had three excellent high schools but we beg to differ, as does the school inspectorate Ofsted (they use words like good and satisfactory but not outstanding). A relative in education suggested that David might not like it as Grammar schools push the children to get good results which is of course exactly what comprehensives do with the more able anyway, albeit less so in academia sometimes.

David may not get in at the Grammar School (or even attain the standard) but whether he does or not, he has had the opportunity to do so and it is up to him to make the most of it, whatever the outcome.

There is still a lot of class hatred about selective education, particularly by champagne socialist MPs who put their own children through private schools. Karen took (and failed) the 11+ and indeed left school at sixteen, but went on to shine academically, being sponsored through her Degree. I only found out a couple of months ago that my Parents wanted me to apply for a scholarship (or bursary) for  a private school in Newcastle but that my Year 5 teacher (with the shiny jacket complete with elbow patches) scuppered that in favour of another child who “who was more deserving because he would work hard for it whilst Ian would breeze it” 

I never took the 11+ and didn’t know I’d been passed over, but Karen did. Her views on the mantra mouthed by our Minister for kiddywinkies that Grammar schools condemn many children to failure in these all shall have prizes times are that it is a load of Ed Balls.

There is only one fair form of discrimination and that is by merit.

December 4, 2008

Today it snowed…

Filed under: Culture, Snake oil, skools n' ospitals — Shades @ 8:03 pm

There was a severe weather warning in Yorkshire late yesterday and a letter home from school warning that they may be short staffed.

We woke up this morning to an inch or so of snow and very slippery roads. Now normally getting out of our estate is tricky but the main roads get gritted and ploughed. Not this morning though. I passed numerous stationary cars kerbed with their hazards going, the AA attending to one of them on Magpie Lane. As I got up to the edge of town a lorry was blocking the road in but the road out looked clear, apart from a Transit van parked up and flashing. I got past the van OK but I gradually lost momentum and traction, finding myself immobile as well. That particular road (Bridge Street) was like glass and I kerbed myself in then got out. Where I had been stuck and skidding, I could see tarmac but no sign of grit on the icy mirror surface. 

We had a bit of a conflab and a few motorists helped push me up the short hill that was impeding me. One out, but a lot more pushing required for others. I had no intention of stopping again though!

I trundled out onto the main road which was icy slush, still no sign of ploughing. Surveying the horizon, I could see a number of trucks struggling to get up the rise leading towards the motorway roundabout and gridlock the other way.

At that point I took the decision to head home and went onto the short cut back (Glen Road) at a very cautious 5mph as it was ABS conditions. This road is fairly flat and then it is downhill back to home. There was a line of a dozen cars stuck facing uphill on Magpie Lane going nowhere and I carefully slid past them going back downhill as home beckoned.

Not too many made it in to work and our remote home working solution was well hammered.

David’s school was determined to stay open but appealed to Parents to keep their children home if possible as they would inevitably be short-staffed. 

That is more than can be said for Womble on tour, who has documented the bad weather conditions in his neck of the woods.

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